Notable Noise column: The Best of 2005

One of the perks of my job is that I get to ask people to do things and impose very strict constraints on what they’re doing. And then, when doing the same exact thing, I get to completely ignore those constraints. Hypocrisy, some might call it. Me? I call it a power trip.

A good example is this annual hullabaloo that wraps up the best music of the year. Every newspaper, magazine and website does it, and each person feels that their list is the quintessential distillation of the year’s sounds. Thus bound by tradition, I’ve incorporated The List into my coverage calendar. By getting local musicians, promoters and other various music types to pitch in, I’ve hopefully made it more interesting. I ask those contributors to limit their lists to 200 words. Me? I’ll take 800, thanks very much.

The main reason I take up so much verbiage with my list is because I hate doing it. I’ve been a contributing critic to the Village Voice’s annual “Pazz & Jop” poll for 10 years now, and I’ve yet to be satisfied with one of those lists. So every year, my retrospective look at the year gets longer and longer, in some misguided effort to avoid missing the album that, sure enough, winds up (three years later) being the only album I’ve kept. I hope this year I’ve gotten close to reflecting not only what I thought was excellent about music in 2005, but also what I actually liked. Even now, though, as I look at this list, it feels woefully incomplete and misrepresentative. Maybe it’s because there are 5,000 songs on my iPod that aren’t here; maybe it’s because the whole idea of distilling 365 days of listening into 800 words is as impossible as it is self-aggrandizing.

ALBUMS

1. M.I.A.: Arular I said so last year, everyone else said so this year.
2. Spoon: Gimme Fiction Our generation’s Who, but nobody knows it yet. Heartfelt rock that doesn’t let its brain trip over its balls.
3. Alkaline Trio: Crimson So sue me. My inner 13-year-old couldn’t stop singing along to this record (really loudly), while my outer father-of-two wore its black-clad imagery as proof that I was still into what The Kids dig.
4. Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary I hated this record the first few times, and then I was suddenly struck with the notion that Wolf Parade could single-handedly rescue the notion that indie rock can be smart and catchy without being coy and condescending.
5. Javier Garcia: 13
6. Anoushka Shankar: Rise
7. Jello Biafra & The Melvins: Sieg Howdy! As good as Jello has sounded in years. Ferocious.
8. Open Hand: You & Me Arena rock for smart people.
9. Inkwell: Chaos Reveals Rhyme
10. White Stripes: Get Behind Me Satan No I didn’t. Yes I did.
11. Summerbirds in the Cellar: In the Hands of the Hunter It All Becomes Dead
12. Kronos Quartet & Asha Bhosle: You’ve Stolen My Heart: Songs From R.D. Burman’s Bollywood
13. Various Artists: Favela Booty Beats No, I didn’t know how funky the favela was until M.I.A. told me. I’m glad she did.
14. Low: The Great Destroyer
15. Grand Buffet: Five Years of Fireworks I want to marry Lord Grunge.
16. Various Artists: Stubbs the Zombie
17. High on Fire: Blessed Black Wings Until The Sword release their album, this will keep me in good metal stead.
18. Various Artists: 4 Women No Cry
19. Animal Collective & Vashti Bunyan: Prospect Hummer EP I liked this better than the Vashti record that AC was on and the AC record that Vashti was on. Weird.

SINGLES

I know these are all obvious, but hell, they’re singles. They’re supposed to be obvious.
1. Kunal Ganjawala: “Salaam Namaste”
2. The Pussycat Dolls: “Don’t Cha”
3. Kaiser Chiefs: “Every Day I Love You Less and Less”
4. All-American Rejects “Move Along”
5. The Decemberists: “Sixteen Military Wives”
6. Gorillaz: “Feel Good Inc.”

LIVE SHOWS

1. Autolux at The Social
2. Acid Mothers Temple at The Social
3. Dinosaur Jr. at House of Blues
4. Iron and Wine at The Social The (re-) introductions were weird.
5. Black Label Society at House of Blues

First appeared Dec. 29, 2005 in Orlando Weekly.

Notable Noise column: Cocteau Twins for Christmas (Orlando Weekly)

I got an excellent early Christmas present the other day. You see, I had been dropping these really heavy hints to my lovely wife about a present I wanted. By “heavy hints,” I mean e-mails that say “I want this for Christmas” and a link to the eBay item page. Problem is, I’m the one in the house with the eBay and Paypal accounts, so it was determined that, for that particular present, there would be little Christmas surprise involved with the purchase of said gift.

“So,” my bride said, “just buy it for yourself.”

You must understand something about me. I don’t buy a whole lot of music anymore. Back in the day, a week would seldom pass without me dropping a hundred bucks at the local record store on things new and old. But now, I’ve whittled down my record collection to a far more manageable size and, thanks to the joy of fatherhood and full-time employment, the amount of listening time that I can devote to new purchases has been seriously curtailed. That listening time is even further diminished by the dozens of new CDs that show up on a weekly basis at my job, so needless to say, I’ve grown fairly selective in what I shell out money for. (Downloads don’t count; that’s one part of my life where I could really use a little more discretion.)

In fact, “selective” doesn’t completely describe my music-buying. “Monastic” is a little more like it. Sure, I’ll pick up things here and there – a Geraldine Fibbers CD for three bucks, a Portsmouth Sinfonia album for two bucks (seriously!) – but for the most part, I get everything I want for free (or for $10 per gigabyte at www.allofmp3.com). Oddly, this makes it more difficult to convince myself that a purchase is worth making, since there’s so much good music sitting around my house that didn’t cost me a dime (or much more than a dime).

However, there are four immediate and incontestable exceptions to this rule. When it comes to Cocteau Twins, Prince, Sun Ra and Muslimgauze, my Amex card is whipped out faster than you can say “What’s on the B-side?” Over the years, these artists have formed the peculiar four-cornered plot that is my musical taste; almost every other sonic affinity I have can be directly traced back to the resonance of their music. (I say “almost” because punk rock and metal were such an ingrained part of my adolescence that they’re more my personality than my taste. As for Bollywood … well, you go to India a few times and see if you don’t come back humming a few of A.R. Rahman’s best.)

Though there are many other artists that I hold a deep and abiding love for, these four comprise a particularly large and expensive part of my collection. Yeah, I’ve got 27 James Brown records, but I’ve bought twice that many by Sun Ra. Sure, I’ve got an impossible-to-find 12-inch by My Bloody Valentine, but I’d sell it to pay the mortgage; not so for my copy of Prince’s withdrawn Undertaker CD. I love my original vinyl version of Faust’s first album, but I’m more pleased by the fact that my big-ass stack of Muslimgauze CDs will likely get me thrown in jail when the FBI gets around to my file. And though I think Ken Andrews (of Failure) is a master of arranging and producing guitar sounds in a way that makes my heart skip a beat, Robin Guthrie’s guitar sound makes me want to jump off a building. In a good way.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that, since the potential Christmas gift in question was an import version of the out-in-2006 Lullabies to Violaine four-CD compilation of remastered Cocteau Twins singles, there wasn’t a huge delay between “Just buy it for yourself” and my login to Half.com. Okay, so I’ve got ‘em all on vinyl, and I’ve got ‘em in the box set that Capitol put out over 10 years ago, and I’d probably get it for free in February anyway. But none of those arguments seem remotely reasonable. After all, these discs were remastered by Robin Guthrie. Um, hello.

What was surprising was that I placed my order from a seller on Half.com at 10:30 on Tuesday night. The box set was in my mailbox in a manila envelope on Wednesday afternoon, with a note that said, “How’s that for fast service?” Apparently, the seller was local and, being the best human being on the planet, this person hand-delivered the set to me. Sure, it was a little creepy, but I don’t care; Merry Christmas to me and my obsessions.

DOWNLOAD THESE

There is some decent Christmas music in this world. This week’s make-your-own podcast has 15 of my favorite Christmas songs. For some reason, they never play these at the mall.
Prince: “Another Lonely Christmas”
The Qualities (w/Sun Ra): “It’s Christmas-time” and “Happy New Year to You”
Cocteau Twins: “Frosty the Snowman” and “Winter Wonderland”
James White: “Christmas With Satan”
Cardinal: “If You Believe in Christmas Trees”
Low: “If You Were Born Today”
The Flaming Lips: “A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn’t So)”
Rodd & Judy: “Santa Fix My Toys For Christmas”
The Walkmen: “The Christmas Party”
Dreams So Real: “Red Lights”
The Raveonettes: “The Christmas Song”
Cold Chillin’ Juice Crew: “Cold Chillin’ Christmas”
Heather Noel: “Santa Came on a Nuclear Missile”
Tiny Tim & The Muppets: “Bless Us All”

First appeared Dec. 22, 2005 in Orlando Weekly.

Notable Noise column: Scott Stapp, Myspace, Rule of 7, Fighting Records (Orlando Weekly)

Notable Noise column: Walk the Line, Rock Band 101 (Orlando Weekly)

I took my 11-year-old to see Walk the Line over the weekend because he’s a huge Johnny Cash fan and also because my morbid curiosity had gotten the better of me. How on earth, I wondered, could all these professional film critics be giving this film the fabulous reviews it’s been getting? We’re talking about Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon in the lead roles … singing.

Fully prepared for a cringe-inducing couple of hours, we tucked into our seats at the Aloma Cinema Grill and soon enough, my expectations were completely destroyed. The underlying story – Cash’s freight train of a life: rolling fast with lots of baggage – was perfectly and poignantly presented. And yes, Reese Witherspoon did an amazing job as June Carter. Even the singing bits. If music biopics can maintain the standard set by this film and Ray, I can’t wait until they get around to doing Sam Cooke or Marvin Gaye or Hank Williams or Jimi Hendrix or ….

ROCK BAND 101

The other night (Dec. 3, to be exact), after watching The Sugar Oaks lay out a set of their front-porch pop (or, as I like to call it, “non-rocking rock”), I got into a discussion with a local musician who was not a Sugar Oak, but had the good taste to be at one of their shows. This particular musician asked me some questions about how he should best go about getting attention for his band from press-types like myself. I slurred out some stuff about “keep it simple” that probably only confused him. You see, we were at Redlight Redlight, and I had discovered that I very much liked a brand-new beer they have on tap there. In other words, I wasn’t much help.

Thus, it’s time for another installment of Rock Band 101, and this week’s topic will be: Making Your Demo. Bands put a lot of time, effort and money into making demos and usually, most of that time, effort and money is completely wasted. Why? Because too often bands try to guess what people want to hear instead of crafting a demo that accurately represents their creative vision. Don’t try to fool the people you’re trying to impress by putting forth the songs that you think are the most “marketable” or “accessible” if, at the end of the day, your band is neither. If you’re freakish, wave that freak flag high! Alternately, if you’re a mainstream act with lots of talent but little inspiration, don’t try to act like you’re peddling art; you’re not special, but perhaps that doesn’t matter.

Of course, there’s still a little image manipulation that’s necessary. Please understand that “demo” is not the same as “album,” and even though you might want your album to open with a brooding, spacious “overture,” that’s the worst possible thing you can open your demo with. Demos need to be short and concentrated representations. And they need to get people’s attention in about 30 seconds. If that first 30 seconds doesn’t accurately represent what you’re about, you’ve just prevented yourself from getting a fair hearing.

ON THE OTHER HAND

Here’s a good example of exactly the opposite of everything I just wrote. I got a small package in the mail last week with 137 songs in it. On one disc. It was The Complete Mission Man Collection, an MP3 disc that compiled the entire body of work of a quirky, clean-cut boy from UCF who raps. Believe me, regardless of what I heard inside, a disc with 137 songs on it and a letter about how he learned to rap “in 1992 while walking on Alafaya Trail to play basketball at the University of Central Florida” is gonna get me to listen. And I did. And although it wasn’t nearly as fucked-up as I had hoped, it was still quite interesting. And, more importantly, doing something different made me pay attention.

ALSO NOTABLE

The Orlando Opera’s production of Susannah was amazing; cheers to them for having the guts to put on a 20th-century opera about religious intolerance and rape (based on a Bible story, no less) … The folks at the Fort Pierce-based Pro Tech Communications were kind enough to send me a pair of their Noisebuster noise-cancelling headphones. The good news is they’re inexpensive (about $50); the bad news is they made a weird clicking sound with my iPod and gave me a headache … Did anyone see that freaky action at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? No, not the lamp that fell and hit the handicapped girl; I’m talking about the fact that Puffy Amiyumi had a float … Trivium won Yahoo’s “Who’s Next?” award for the month of December … The absolutely nutty Rep. Cynthia McKinney of Georgia has just proposed a bill that would establish the “Tupac Amaru Shakur Records Collection” in the National Archives. According to a press release, it would be modeled after the famed “John F. Kennedy Assassination Records Collection Act … [and] would allow public access to privileged details of the late rap superstar’s life and death.” Got it. Hey, Rep. McKinney, are you sure there’s nothing else you should be working on up in D.C.?

DOWNLOAD THIS

Tell me you haven’t been pulling your hair out trying to figure out all the cryptic music references in Virgin Digital’s new ad campaign. I know you have. You know what else I know? As much as I love Virgin (and their ad agency), I won’t give ‘em a dime of my money until I can use their songs on my iPod.

First appeared Dec. 8, 2005 in Orlando Weekly.

Notable Noise column: Catching up on new CDs (Orlando Weekly)

Taking up where we left off with last week’s recent and notable reissues, allow me to shed a little light on some new CDs that have been released recently that are notable. Again, I said “notable,” which doesn’t necessarily mean “good.”

TWELVE TOO MUCH

Like I said, this isn’t going to be a listing of wonderfulness. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how completely disappointed I was in 12 Songs, the new Rick Rubin-produced Neil Diamond record. The first album I ever bought with my own money was Neil’s Tap Root Manuscript (“And that is why our house is built on top of a hill”), and I’ve always known this man can write some good songs, Jazz Singer be damned. And there are, indeed, 12 very good songs on this album (14 if you picked up the limited edition). Rubin did his best to coax honest performances out of Neil, but years of hanging out with Barbra Streisand appears to have permanently affected Diamond’s ability to let forth any true emotion, and these songs all suffer from being oversung and burdened with false modesty. Maybe next time.

COME TOGETHER

On Sept. 17 of this year, one of many “hurricane benefit concerts” took place. This one was at Lincoln Center and featured the likes of Joe Lovano, Norah Jones, Shirley Caesar, Dianne Reeves, Wynton Marsalis and other jazzy and semi-jazzy types. Somewhat appropriate if you consider how much jazz owes New Orleans (like, you know, everything). The disc that documents that concert (Higher Ground) is simultaneously joyous and somber and worth checking out.

Far more emotional, however, is the simultaneously released Sippiana Hericane by Dr. John. Ever since wrapping my brain around Babylon, I knew Dr. John was way more multifaceted than “Right Place Wrong Time” might have people believe. Sippiana, like Babylon, is an iconoclastic disc, but is (obviously) a lot less joyous. In fact, Mr. Rebennack alternates between precisely two emotions on the disc: devastated and pissed-off. It’s absolutely excellent and perhaps the most poignant half-hour of music you’ll hear this year.

OH, THERE AGAIN

Some cities – terrorists and riots aside – aren’t quite in the same need of help as New Orleans, yet here’s a stack of three releases dedicated to New York, London and Paris. News flash: Those cities have vibrant nightclub scenes. Didn’t know it? Well, The Other Side is made with you in mind. These DualDisc releases are produced by the folks at Time Out magazine (hey, where’s Tokyo … or Bombay?) and, although I might be tired of hearing about how great those cities are, I’m even more tired of boring travel guides. The Other Side definitely tries to be different by offering an audio soundtrack and DVD tour through those cities’ hipper environs. That the music and the movies are narrated by the likes of Casey Spooner (Fischerspooner) and the freaks in Black Strobe means they lean toward the urban electronicist, but if you follow their touring advice, you’re sure to get a hell of a better vacation out of it.

BETTER PLACES

Feel like traveling someplace a little more exotic than (yawn) New York? How about Papua New Guinea? That’s where globetrotting guitarist Bob Brozman went to cut another of his genre-defying collaborations. This time it was with the string bands of the isolated Tolai people, and the result – Songs of the Volcano – is probably his best album yet. It comes with a DVD too, and though it’s just a documentary of the recording of the album, it’s far more enticing than a club-kid romp through the “back alleys” of the Paris night.

ALSO NOTABLE

In more DVD action, Sonic Youth guitarist Lee Ranaldo and visual artist Leah Singer first began presenting their multimedia piece Drift 15 years ago. The new DVD presentation of it rounds out the dizzying visuals and sounds with a substantial 112-page book, making for what one would hope is a fairly accurate reproduction of its live impact. Speaking of impact, the new Ed Gein album (Judas Goats and Dieseleaters) is heavier and angrier than it needs to be, and that’s just fine with me. Likewise, the dark pretense of Vaz’s new disc (The Lie That Matches the Furniture) is just plain uncomfortable; noisy melodrama never sounded so good.

DOWNLOAD THESE

Not enough music to check out? Then here’s a super-expanded make-your-own podcast:
The Shins: “Caring Is Creepy”
Drop Nineteens: “Happen”
L7: “Shove”
Matching Mole: “God Song”
De La Soul: “Oodles of O’s”
Slowblow: “Dark Horse”
Lyn Collins: “Think (About It)”
Ornette Coleman: “Science Fiction”
United States of America: “Hard Coming Love”
Mighty Sparrow: “Jack Palance”
The Cars: “Candy-O”
Unrest: “Champion Nines”
Jawbox: “Whitney Walks”
Jel: “Mislead”
Paul Chambers: “Nita”
Kim Fowley: “The Trip”

First appeared in the Dec. 1, 2005 issue of Orlando Weekly.